MIW presents BEERS & BODYSLAMS // Grumpy’s Bar & Grill – Roseville, MN
Results via Heel Turn Radio
The show kicked off with MIW President Pete Huge and MIW Champion Scott Story hitting the ring and announcing that he had a very HUGE announcement about the Cage Match scheduled between Mitch Paradise. Because of the heat and need for a tent to protect the spectators, there would be NO STEEL CAGE today. President Huge just cares too much about the fans for it to happen. He then comments that it was Crooked Terry Fox’s birthday last week and if there is one thing he ABSOLUTELY does not want the crowd to do, it’s would be to sing Happy Birthday to Terry Fox. We did, Pete mocked our singing and started his own song which we all sang along to. After this brief Presidential Undress, the action started!
The ring announcer Joe was in full tux for the show put on by Bauhaus and Grump’s and he never once looked grumpy about it. Kudos to you sir. And kudos to that magnificent beard.
“Husky Heartthrob” Kody Rice def. Officer Rob Justice via Pinfall
Rice starts off by giving the fans what they clamor for and soaked up in baby oil. This led to a number of hilarious spots with Justice trying to grapple him but not being able to. The match had the usual profiling but Kody Rice went into the crowd for a high five and assured the Officer that there was nothing wrong with the young kid he picked out. Kody even went so far as to extend an olive branch to Rob Justice by bringing donettes to the ring but Justice slapped them out of his hand and eventually stepped on them while the two were exchanging holds. Kody, luckily, verified they were still okay by having a mid-match snack. All looked to be lost as Action Jackson missed a vicious shin choke across the throat of Rice by Officer Justice, but Kody was able to turn the tables and hit the Cannonball in the corner and get the three count.
Match Rating: Bakers Dozen / 12 Donuts
“Genuine Article” Chris Jordan def. Stonehenge via Rollup Pinfall
After missing Wrestlepalooza X, we were happy to see Rob Page out in some stylish shorts to beat the heat and referee the second contest. #MakeRobRefAgain. This was a great clash of styles and a lot of fun as Jordan was over like Grover and Stonehenge exacerbated that by interacting with the crowd regularly. At one point someone yelled “Tickle Fight!” to which Stonehenge replied, “I’ll give you something to tickle, lady!” I love family friendly entertainment. ‘Henge did his best to slow down the head of steam that Jordan usually builds up by using wear down holds but couldn’t stop the Genuine Article and was eventually rolled up for the three.
Match Rating: Wiltshire / United Kingdom
Mitch Paradise def. Heavy Metal Lore via Pinfall
Before the next match began, Mitch Paradise came out to inform us that he had never lost in his new silver tights. He ran down the crowd and introduced Paradise Pit which is nothing like Piper’s Pit. We all believed this in our heart of hearts. After some grousing, Heavy Metal Lore came out to stand up to him which brought out MIW President Pete Huge. He said that there may not be a Mitch pit lore out Pete out. Let me just say this: I love a good hoss fight and if I could only pick a handful of Minnesota wrestlers to be in a hoss fight these would be two of them. After a methodical and slugfest rich bout, Mitch eventually gets a pinfall with his feet on the ropes and the ref doesn’t see it.
Match Rating: Of Course He Didn’t See It / 3
We took this time to grab another libation and chat up Stonehenge, Chris Jordan, and Kody Rice who were all out with fresh merch. The Wall of 10,000 Graps grows. Also, Stonehenge has coozies. We’ve seen this move by a couple of wrestlers and we like it (and so do our frosty beverages).
“Mr. Entertainment” Ty Cooper def. “Miami Money” Aiden Wake (w/ Tom Butterman) via Pinfall
Before the match, Ty Cooper pays homage to the late, great Adam West by asking the audience to shout West-era Batman noises every time he socked it to Aiden Wake. There were plenty of opportunities to BOOM! ZAP! POW! as Ty Cooper made easy work of Miami Money. Despite one Butterman interference, that was just not enough Buttermans to bring home the W as Ty used an impaler-like finisher for the three count.
Match Rating: Steve Martin / King Tut
“Never Ending” Scott Story def. “Notorious” Ryan Cruz via Pinfall
Perhaps you have heard that Story is the “Playboy Protege”. If you somehow have been living under a rock and hadn’t heard that, it should have been clear by the end of this match as the “Mayor of Chanhassen” was all over this match distracting the referee and ensuring a Scott Story victory. Despite some highly innovative offense and reversals by Cruz, in the end, a distraction of the ref and a belt shot by Story was enough to close the book on Ryan Cruz’s title chances.
Match Rating: Bastian / Fantasia
After the match, Kody Rice slid into the ring and hit a cannonball on Story and proceeded to challenge him for his Title which Pete Huge accepted and announced that match would happen September 9th in Ham Lake!
Razzlin’ Rick was also in attendance and you can check out his thoughts on the card on his Facebook page which you can check out here.
AWF presents BATTLE IN THE STREETS // Friendly City Days – Albertville, MN
Results incoming… patience, my young Padawan.
IWI presents SUPLEX INTO SUMMER // Historic Mounds Theater – St. Paul, MN
Results via Heel Turn Radio
Truth be told, I completely missed the first match as I am a member in Pete Huge’s Cabinet and had duties to fulfill. As such, please check out Razzlin’ Rick’s account of the first match which I was sorry to have to miss. Had a chance to say hey to Kal and Maru after the Match and El Tigre during half-time. Such good guys and look forward to seeing them again soon.
Match Rating: Tequila / Four
LW3 and Heavy Metal Lore go to a No Contest by Double DQ
As I entered the Historic Mounds Theater I was just in time to see the action in this one spill to the outside where they slugged it out before rolling back in with LW3 firmly in control. The action spilled to the outside once again and the two wrestlers seemed to not care about the count out nearly as much as inflicting damage on one another. They continued to duke it out until the referee counted to 10 and then went on for a bit longer. This bad blood is not over.
Match Rating: Hoss Fight Don’t Care / 10 (Count)
Afterwards, Ian Xavier did a Penalty Box segment where he called out figurehead authority figure Tim Dennis and talked about what a poor job he had done but now that Xavier was revealed as the brains behind IWI, he was going to give the fans what they wanted and keep Dennis from making any more partisan decisions about matches.
IWI Tag Team Championship Match
Air Wolf/Angel Caido def. Yolo Bros (Patrick McDaniels & Kamikaze Klecker) via DQ
McDaniels + Klecker jumped Lucha Extreme before the bell had even sounded and got in quite a few licks before we were even underway. There was a lot of brawling in and out of the ring with a couple of big risk maneuvers by the YOLO Bros to try and out perform Wolf and Caido. Eventually, Lucha Extreme gained enough of an upper hand the McDaniels ended up hitting Air Wolf with his frat paddle causing the DQ. Aftewards Ian Xavier came out and made the Main Event for IWI’s July show which would see Lucha Extreme vs. YOLO Bros in a Ladder Match for the Titles, but also that it would be the 5th and final time Air Wolf + Angel Caido would have a shot at the Titles.
Match Rating: Two / Three Popped Collars
While Xavier was out, he also announced that at the September IWI show that there would be a Women’s Match on the card and that would include none other than Blue Pants aka the Countess of Cosplay: Leva Bates!
IWI US Championship Match
Spiderbaby def. Venom via Pinfall
Venom came out like a house on fire with strikes and as much vicous offense as he could muster. Spiderbaby eventually reversed these and got to work on isolating Venom’s leg and keeping him off his feet as much as possible to limit his striking ability. At some point, the aforementioned Tim Dennis got involved which caused the ref to miss an obvious three count by Venom. During the confusing of sorting everything out Spiderbaby was able to hit a low blow on Venom to get a three count and retain his US Title.
Match Rating: 7 / 8 Legs
No DQ IWI Championship Match
“Notorious” Ryan Cruz def. “6% Bodyfat” Rob James via Pinfall
This one started wrestling heavy and devolved into a master class in working a crowd and working comedy, striking, and grappling spots seamlessly into a rich tapestry of gags, farce, and laughs. There were eye pokes, under the ring antics, popcorn boxes smashed on heads, Minion masks, and a lonely salt and pepper shaker which never saw the light of day. Eventually, Rob James gained control through a quick series of strikes and then retrieved a folding chair from the outside. Unfortunately for 6%, Cruz wrested it away from him and got it set between the top and middle ropes in one of the corners. Fortunately for Rob James this backfired as he was able to launch Cruz into the chair. Sadly, as most defenses go, Cruz was able to weasel his way out by using the ropes for leverage to get the pinfall.
Match Rating: 3/4 of a Box of Popcorn + a Minion Lucha Mask / 5
An awesome show and venue. The first time I have been to IWI and given the chance to see Air Wolf win his first local title, we will definitely be back next month and possibly to see Leva Bates in September. Worth the 10 bucks and hopefully we can bring an even bigger crew next time. It would be great to see that place packed to the rafters. Big shout out to Ryan Cruz, Lore, Tigre, Maru, Kal, Rob James, and Venom and to Eli McCaufield and Derrick Hartfiel for their hospitality and conversation at the show. Good to talk wrestling at the shows. Many thanks!
Razzlin’ Rick was also in attendance and you can check out his thoughts on the card on his Facebook page which you can check out here.
Heavy On Wrestling presents LIVE @ CLYDE // Clyde Iron Works – Duluth, MN
Review thanks to @theryanfranson
This was my first visit to Clyde Iron Works, and let me tell you how excited I am to share so many of my first time stories with all of you right here on MNDIYWrestling dot com.
+ Air Wolf def. Craven Knyte
A handful of fans behind me spent the better part of the match grousing about how they couldn’t tell who was the heel and who was the babyface, and I have to agree, Knyte continually telling us to shut up and Air Wolf high fiving everyone at ringside before the match really created an air of confusion over the whole thing. Were those ironic high fives? Was Air Wolf having a hard time hearing because of our incessant cheering and Knyte simply cared enough to create a more accommodating auditory space for him? That’s probably it.
Clyde Iron Works is a large venue with an extremely high ceiling and a decent gap between the ring and the audience, which meant that Air Wolf and Craven Knyte could really let loose, and boy did they. After seeing Air Wolf stifled by the size of the venue so many times, it was an absolute treat to see him work to his fullest ability and as always, he did not disappoint. In the end, Air Wolf took down Knyte and those guys behind me still weren’t sure how to react. Why is everyone cheering? Do we dare become bandwagon fans? Let’s remain deliberately confused.
“Upper Management” was introduced next to a chorus of boos, probably because we’ve been conditioned by WWE to expect a lengthy HR review, which no one was in the mood for on a Sunday afternoon. Turns out that “Upper Management” was a woman named Elizabeth and Ron Houk from KOOL 101.7, the Northland’s Favorite Hits from yesterday, today and somehow tomorrow. Ron was there to announce that Heavy on Wrestling will be BACK at The Clyde on October 29thfor Heavy Halloween! Also, apparently the General Manager of Heavy on Wrestling has stepped down, and a NEW General Manager will be announced–
SOME MUSIC HIT.
–Right then, I guess. Out from the back huffed Dan Jesser, who demanded they CUT THE MUSIC. Classic. They, however, did not cut the music. There was some general displeasure about the uncut state of the music, but he made his way to the ring nonetheless, where the sweet relief of his music being cut finally washed over the crowd. Jesser said he supposes that OBVIOUSLY, he is the new GM, but—
YET MORE MUSIC HIT.
It’s Keely Quinn! She greeted Jesser with a slap to the face, which I guess is some sort of Northland tradition, and announced that she is the new GM of Heavy on Wrestling. Quite the first day! Congratulations, Keely.
SOMEHOW EVEN MORE MUSIC HIT.
It’s TNA Superstar Abyss! Abyss got in Keely’s face, but she was NOT having it. In fact, she’s had it up to here (where? Have fun at home! Choose the body part up to which Keely has had it. Let your imagination run wild!) with these antics and announced that the Casket Match between Mitch Paradise & Abyss would now be a HANDICAP Casket Match. That’s right, Dan Jesser and Abyss will now be teaming up against Mitch Paradise, giving them even greater odds of winning which is a punishment somehow.
+ King Leonidas def. Cooter Bocephus
It’s a tale as old as time: a good ole country boy and his inflatable duck battle time-displaced Spartan royalty. From the get-go, this match sets out to answer three major questions*:
1. Is there a wrestler out there that wears more armor in the ring than Roman Reigns?
2. Which provides more effective body protection? Coveralls or actual armor?
3. Will Cooter’s rubber duck go up someone’s butt?
Hey, you know what’s weird? “LET’S GO COOTER” chants. You know what’s weirder? “UP THE BUTT” chants from 8-year olds. This match had both. It also had some solid action from Leonidas and Cooter, as well as its fair share of comedy. In the end, King Leonidas landed a piledriver after a failed rubber duck insertion attempt from Cooter to score the victory.
Afterward, King Leonidas ranted about Sparta, chanted “300!” a lot and dragged an Academy student out of the crowd for an excruciatingly long and confusing beat down. The ref too, for some reason. No one knows why, unless “300!” is his stretch goal for post-match beatdowns. Did Spartans develop the concept of stretch goals? Probably.
* 1. YES. King Leonidas wears more armor than Roman Reigns. It’s an impressive feat.
2. It would appear that actual armor is more effective protection than coveralls.
3. YES. The duck went up the butt.
+ Copper Teeth (Chainsaw King + Duke Cornell) def. Zero Tolerance (Black Stallion + John Johnson)
Duluth’s hottest new team is Copper Teeth. This match had EVERYTHING – face paint, the waltz, Rob Page, an eyepatch, camo pants, spit in the eye, strict adherence to tag rope handling, a Foggy Lift Bridge—
What’s a Foggy Lift Bridge?
It’s that thing where you go up to Duluth and one guy swaps white face paint with another guy by means of the bridge made by their lips in a mid-match make-out sesh.
Oh, and hey. HEY. But you know what this match didn’t have? A CHAINSAW. What the hell?
Despite lack of chainsaw, a good match was had by all, with outstanding heel work from Zero Tolerance throughout. In the end, Chainsaw King landed a flying knee drop from the top rope onto Black Stallion to score the pin and the win. Afterward, Duke Cornell showed Rob and Chainsaw king what was under his eyepatch and if Duke Cornell had any sense, he’d start selling 8x10s of what’s under there to sate our curiosity as fans.
+ Kody Rice (w/”The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart) def. Scott Story
Scott Story was out first, followed by a surprise appearance from “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart. Jimmy is a fan of Duluth, you see, and back when he managed a little team called The Hart Foundation, they came to Duluth to wrestler team you may have heard of called The British Bulldogs. Turns out, as they were getting ready backstage, Jimmy inadvertently bumped into his air horn, causing the siren to sound, which drove Matilda, the namesake bulldog absolutely nuts. That laid the foundation (see what I did there?) for the famous WrestleMania 3 spot where Jimmy took Matilda out of the equation in the exact same fashion.
Now amidst that nostalgia, Jimmy got the hankering to manage somebody one more time in Duluth, and backstage there was this guy who reminded him of “Adorable” Adrian Adonis, and in fact, that’s who he’s managing tonight folks. That’s right, the sky opened up, baby oil rained down and beefy angels sang the sweet sounds of Salt N’ Pepa featuring En Vogue because JIMMY HART WAS MANAGING KODY RICE, BABY. It was the best thing in the world, and if you don’t think that’s the best thing in the world, I’ve got TEN WORDS FOR YOU: differences of opinion are OK and I still respect you.
Now, if you caught a little show called Heel Turn Radio last week (Episode 89.1 – available on iTunes!), you would have gotten a sneak peek into Scott Story’s strategy for taking down the Husky Heartthrob, and a sound strategy it was! Scott controlled a good chunk of the match and looked great, as did Kody, especially when he hit a second rope FREAKIN’ HUSKYCANRANA. Does he call it that? He should call it that. Lots of high flying from Story, but he was ultimately brought back to Earth by a Cannonball for the pin and the win by Kody Rice.
+ Handicap Casket Match — Mitch Paradise def. Abyss & Dan Jesser
Mitch was working babyface, which will never not be weird to me, and continually asked the crowd “should I?” before doing his moves, which is extraordinarily considerate and frankly a model more wrestlers should adopt. This one was a casket burner. It’s like a barn burner, but you replace the barn with a casket. Totally a thing. It didn’t take long for the action to spill out of the ring and into the crowd, where Mitch and Abyss pummeled each other from to the window, to the wall, til the sweat dripped down their—you know what, I’ve drawn a clear enough picture here.
Abyss gained the upper hand on the floor, and Jesser and Abyss brought the casket into the ring, which I’ve never seen before and is also more logistically challenging than I would have thought. Back inside, Jesser got the assist with a few well-timed low blows, but otherwise spent the better part of the match browbeating Abyss which you will be stunned to find out directly resulted in his comeuppance. With Mitch temporarily dispatched, Abyss aired his grievances with Jesser in the form of a meaty fist to the face and a trip to the outside, allowing Paradise to dump Jesser into the casket for the win. A suitably impressed Abyss offered to shake hands Paradise after the match. Should I? Yes Mitch, you should.
+ Two-Out-of-Three Falls Match for the Heavy on Wrestling Undisputed Championship – Arik Cannon vs. Darin Corbin
Arik Cannon came out to “I Don’t Wanna Lose Your Love Tonight” which is a good song, but jarring when you’re expecting his trademark anthem. It should come as a surprise to no one that, in every way, this was the match of the night. The action was top notch, and the story progression from starting as two babyfaces, transitioning to Darin Corbin slowly metamorphosing into a heel through underhanded tactics and some crowd work on a group of kids that’s bound to give a few of them emotional scars was masterful. The two veterans wove a rich story that was self-contained enough for those of there for the first time, yet likely resonated even more deeply for veteran Heavy on Wrestling fans.
Cannon took the first fall with a sunset flip out of nowhere, but Corbin quickly followed up by landing the second fall with a school boy and his feet on the top rope. The battle from that point on was epic, fighting in and out of the ring with a ton of near falls until Corbin landed a sneaky low blow, following up with the Ginger Snap to become the first Heavy on Wrestling Undisputed Champion!
NWA Legend “Wildfire” Tommy Rich came out to present the belt to Corbin, but he also had a bone to pick with the way Corbin won. Corbin, who is best known for having red hair and not caring… didn’t, flipped Rich the bird and walked off. But you know who also wasn’t having it? Arik Cannon, that’s who. Cannon dragged Corbin back to the ring for an old school beat down from Rich before fleeing to the back while Rich thanked us all for being awesome.
Heavy on Wrestling returns to Clyde Iron Works on 10/29 for Heavy Halloween.